My spiritual journey: In the beginning, God ...

There never was a time that I did not “know” God, or when I was not aware of something outside myself that was definitely there. Of course it was unseen, but it was a force, or a being of some kind. Still, it was as real as anything else.

I dont know how old I was when I first knew, but it was before I ever went to school. There was a dream. I was very young, and had only limited understanding. I still knew what the dream was about. It also repeated a few times, and maybe that is why I remember it so well.

I was beside a river and looking across. This was no ordinary river though. It flowed color, like a rainbow. The water of the river was streaked with vibrant colors. The colors remained separate, and they flowed together. I And looking across the water I could see other people or other beings. Somehow I knew those other beings were not of this world. They were “other.” I didn't know who they were but I just had the idea that they were not like me somehow. There was nothing fearful about them though.

The water was so beautiful and intriguing, that I went into it. I started walking across. 

But suddenly I was met by a voice, and I knew it was the voice of a greater being. It told me to turn around, and pointed to my mother who was standing on the shore. She was waiting for me to come back. She was happy that I had not continued.

So I went back in that direction. The voice was kind, strangely forceful, but at the same time seemed full of love. The voice was a power, and I felt it when it spoke to me. A peace and happy kind of feeling that seemed beyond understanding.

Later on I heard about God, Jesus and so forth, and it seemed to fit. I always thought back to that dream when I was in church.

Sometimes I would feel that same feeling I had felt when the voice told me to turn back from crossing the river. But I also learned that it was not something I could control, or make happen. It came when it wanted to come. But when it did come, I would feel very good. Most of the time it came in association with a religious event of some kind, though not always.

Even at an early age I began to associate God with that dream. God was the voice I had met in the river of the rainbow.

That is where my journey began.

It was a journey though, and it was years before I began to understand God. Tomorrow I will write about the frustration of not being able to know who the voice was.