I was barely a teenager and decided to change churches. It was next door to the one my parents went to. They had something called a youth group which was a new idea in Appalachia in the 70s. We were about 10 years behind the rest of the world, so I've always thought I went through the 60s, just in a different decade.
I grew my hair long and wore bell bottom jeans with peace signs on my t-shirt. I was a rebel non-conformist who looked just like all the other rebel non-conformists.
The church that had this youth group would be liberal by today's standards, and probably was then too, but it was not a big deal at that time.
Everyone I knew went to church. It was a social thing but no one really cared where you went. There were differences in each but as long as you picked one, you were good in polite society.
This pastor and his wife – especially his wife – introduced me to a whole new world in addition to the idea of a youth group. I did not realize how radical this was at the time, but the church was much different in America then, and this one was different even from the other ones at the time. The focus of some churches was just avoiding sin. In some churches, however, of churches, developing your relationship with God was the focus. I quickly realized this difference and it didn't take me long to realize who I wanted to be around.
This was the only church in our area that had a youth group, and it was pretty popular.
There was the standard church service on Sunday mornings, but there was so much more. We had a weekly meeting at their house where we played games, ate a lot, and generally had a good time. We went on outings. To ball games even, and to hear religious and motivational speakers. There were trips to concerts, festivals, and even some camping trips.
As much as I liked that, I liked going to their house even better.
A room full of books in their house was something like I had never seen, and we were all welcome to borrow any book we wanted. It was like the library at school, only smaller and much more interesting.
There wasn't much emphasis on what was wrong, or “sin.” There was a lot more emphasis on doing good. We were encouraged to read, to study, to learn to develop our own faith. The idea was to develop a relationship with God, and they figured rules would take care of themselves.
It did not escape my notice that we very rarely talked about things like drinking or smoking, yet there was less of it with them than there was in churches that condemned that behavior. The idea that religion was about a relationship – and not about rules – was radical even in that time. They would speak to you about it if you were doing something wrong, but that was not the emphasis at all.
I was smoking by then, and most of my friends were too. They did talk to me about the dangers of smoking, but it didn't affect our relationship.
We were also welcome to drop by their house anytime we wanted, either as a group or individually. I stopped by a lot to visit their library. They also had a very cute daughter who was my age, and that didn't hurt either.
I read authors like C.S. Lewis and JRR Tolkien. I discovered the Lord of the Rings in their library. There were also biblical commentaries, dictionaries and so forth. Fascinating material. I was devouring their books, their food, and casting devouring look at their daughter as well. Life was good.
I learned about different denominations, different theologies, and interpretations. I enjoyed talking with the pastor about these things. The biggest thing he taught me was that we did not have to agree on various issues. He would give me an article to read, and we would talk about it. It was ok if I thought differently than he did, which was very radical to me.
I learned to question beliefs and to look for answers. Also, I learned to not ever be satisfied with an answer. There was always something new to discover and learn. It was even ok to change your mind on issues. Knowing what you believe and why is even more important than being right.
I also enjoyed the pastor's wife. She was less theological and more emotional. She encouraged us to talk about our feelings. She also encouraged my writing. She encouraged music too. Talking with her was great. I don't think I had ever talked to anyone about my feelings before. It was new territory, but I could tell her about anything without fear of judgment.
They also introduced me to Christian rock and roll, which was in its infancy. I first heard Larry Norman there, as well as Phil Keaggy. There was a girl singer named Evie they liked a lot but I was more impressed by Norman. They also liked the Beatles and Elvis.
The line dividing the religious and the secular was erased.
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